Starting over

I'd forgotten that I had even started writing this thing. More than that, I see that it's nearly been 18 months since I've written anything. And yet so little has changed. I suppose that's not entirely true, lots of things have changed, but the basic foundations of my life remain unaltered. Both on and off line.

Perhaps I should add a postscript to everything that has gone before this point. Something to sum up the time that I didn't spent adding entries here. Not that I expect anyone to be reading, but looking back, the entries that I have made are surprisingly less cringe-inducing or perplexing as I might have expected them to be at the time. So then, a postscript and a line in the sand to reflect the back half of 2007 and the whole of 2008. Avoid trying to take online relationships into the real world. Ultimately, the people you meet are either psychologically damaged - something that can't easily be determined from a typed conversation - or otherwise a fantasy that doesn't work in reality.

Of course, I won't take my own advice. I haven't so far anyway. There were, at the end of last year, three separate occasions when I ignored my new rule. First one was the break with my psychotic ltr. On screen it seemed good; a proper man. It nearly worked out that way too, he certainly had everything in proportion. But the physical traits of a man, even one well developed, don't necessarily translate in a real world meeting. Strike one. The other, a smoker, a midnight liaison. Or at least the initial joining in cyberspace was a midnight affair that came to fruition in the cold light of day. A lather of sweat and a whole lot of nothing - not to mention the faint scent of old tobacco - leads to an unsatisfied event before Christmas. Strike two. So then the third one. I'd had my eye on him for a while. Not his type, turns into give it a go. On the same wavelength, good looks, nice personality if a bit of a challenge and he's close to a keeper. But strange kinks and a medical condition - as benign as I try and tell myself it might be - holds me back. Strike three. Maybe.

Events in the real world probably need more attention at the moment. I'm restless again and need to make a move sometime soon. It sounds like I'm starting where I left off with lots of questions and a distinct lack of answers.